Blog Resurrection and My New Resolve

I have this blog just sitting here waiting for me, and a lot has happened since the last time I had anything to say. New job, new apartment, even a new cat has been added to the mix.

Yet somehow, whenever I sit down to write, I feel like I have nothing to say. I mean, does anyone really want to hear about how hard it is for me to get up off the sofa and do things? How we’ve been in the new apartment for over three months and I still haven’t finished unpacking the bedroom? How I lost 40 pounds only to lose my motivation and start gaining it back?

And then I realized something. It doesn’t matter if anyone wants to hear it, because no one is reading this blog anyway.

So here I am.

We’re closing in our Disney trip – just over 3 months to go. We started planning this trip as soon as we got home from the last one in September of 2008. That was also when A and I started Weight Watchers together. We both dropped about 35 pounds in short order, and we decided that we would run the Expedition Everest Challenge on our next trip.

So it’s frustrating just how far off the wagon I’ve fallen since then. I was doing pretty well up until our move. Losing consistently, watching my food, trying to be conscious of why I was eating instead of just stuffing my face every time the urge overcame me. Then we moved, and although our new place is a hundred times better than the old one (dishwasher! washer/dryer! driveway!) we also moved away from the gym that I had gotten accustomed to.

It was easy from that point to skip Weight Watchers meetings and keep telling myself that it was okay, because I’d get back to it eventually. But really, it’s not okay, and I know that.

It’s time. New resolve.

I’ve done some jogging on and off recently, but I don’t have a routine like I used to. Last week we went and joined the Y. We have a book that lays out a three month training program for running a 5K, so I know that we can pull it off, but I have to start now. My husband is definitely in better shape than I am, so he’ll be able to get back up to speed faster.

The biggest thing for me – and part of the reason I so desperately need to get back into a routine – is that I don’t want to feel like I’m dying while walking around Disney. The photos from our last Disney trip were a serious wakeup call. I was the heaviest I’ve ever been. I was really uncomfortable walking around, and I got winded really easily, and I barely fit in the airplane seat.

And honestly? I LOOKED uncomfortable and winded. And sweaty. And I realized then, and still know now, that I really need to take care of myself, and that I’m not happy being this weight. I need to do something.

So tonight I’ll go and start training again. And I’m hopping back on the food wagon. And I’ll just have to take it from there.